


My Sunflower

by SnowyCarnations (CrimsonCarnations)



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Abuse, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Beating, Forced Relationship, Forgiveness, M/M, Mental Abuse, Mentions of poliet, Past Abuse, Slavery, Whipping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-13
Updated: 2016-06-13
Packaged: 2018-07-14 18:46:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7185701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrimsonCarnations/pseuds/SnowyCarnations





	My Sunflower

Ivan looked down at his small lithuanian subordinate. The man had been so attractive, then and now. That was all Ivan noticed. That’s why he took him. But...He had a tendency to disobey. I large problem in the braginski house. It was not tolerated. Especially not from someone Ivan had fallen for. 

This time however, the Russian didn’t even bring his pipe down into the basement. “Toris” he said softly. “I want to ask you something.” He let out a small sighed. “Why?” He asked. “you know that it hurts me to do this to you. You know by this point that I have fallen in love with you. Or you are stupid. so I just want to know why you're standing there watching my heart break for you and you do nothing. You do nothing to help me. You make it harder. You make me punish you. Why can you not see my feelings for you” 

Toris is looking down, gripping the sheet tightly in his hands. His body trembles from pain, since his back is covered in bruises and cuts. “Y-you're the stupid one.” He whispers shakily. “I could never want to be with you. You kidnapped me. You don't love me.” He whispers and turns on his side, curling up. 

Ivan rolled his eyes. “I took you because of your land, fair game. You lost the fight. You're mine. And no I didn't love you when I took you but if you haven't realized that I do by now, you are the stupid one” he growled.

“You don't love me. This isn't love. This is passion and lust disguised as hatred and pain.” He hisses. “Fuck you.” He curls up weakly and closes his eyes tightly. 

Ivan growled softly and grabbed him by the shirt on his body. “what do you know about love? You think that jack ass loved you? He laughed as I took you away. Not once has he tried to save you. You know nothing.” 

Toris stiffens. He starts to cry quietly. “Feliks loves me. He never hit me.” He whimpers softly. “You don't love me either! You beat me.” He sniffles. 

Ivan pulled him closer to his face. “if I was going to beat you this time, I would have brought my pipe. I wasn't going to hurt you anymore. But you refused to relax” he hissed.

Toris looks up into his eyes, his own gaze blank. “I don't care anymore.” He whispers, tears leaking from flat eyes. “Beat me if you want to, but I will never love you in return.” 

Ivan growled softly. “You will learn to love me in return or you will die” He hissed. “I could use the land” he growled, throwing him back down and leaving, locking him down there. 

Toris watches him go blankly. He trembles softly and cries. Maybe he should pretend to love Ivan, maybe he can save Eduard and Raivis if he does. 

Ivan went into the kitchen and pushed Raivis aside, telling Eduard to make food and grabbing a big bottle of vodka from the fridge. 

Raivis stumbles over and falls to his butt. He looks up at Ivan in fear. Eduard nods and makes Ivan dinner. Toris goes over to the door and waits by it. 

Ivan downed the bottle of vodka and sat with a huff at the table, muttering to himself in Russian. 

Eduard sets a plate of food on the table. “S-sir. If you don’t mind me asking, where is Toris? Normally you’d prefer that he makes you food.” Eduard says in a polite and submissive tone, standing arms distance away from Ivan. 

“he’s staying in the basement until further notice” he growled through his teeth. He tossed the now empty bottle towards Raivis. “another” he hissed, starting to eat immediately. 

Raivis flinches away from the bottle. He picks it up and throws it away before going to get him another bottle. He trembles as he sets it in front of Ivan. 

Ivan chugged down that bottle too and tossed it at the wall, going upstairs and slamming his bedroom door shut. He went into his bathroom and got in the shower. He ended up passing out in the shower, hitting both his back and head in doing so. 

Eduard panics and runs upstairs. He walks in. “M-master!” He exclaims, pulling on his arm. He can't lift Ivan alone. Eduard lets Toris in and brings Raivis as well. They all work together to get Ivan to the bed. 

Toris gets a wet cloth and lays it over his forehead before starting to nurse him properly. He sighs softly and sits beside him. 

Ivan didn't wake up. Not for a while at least. He wasn't sure he wanted to. From the back of his mind something was telling him that everyone would be better off if he didn't wake up. Toris certainly would be better off. Ivan was just in love, not the other way around. So it didn't matter if he woke did it?

Toris is sitting by Ivan, stroking his hair and humming. He's waiting for the Russian to wake up. Raivis and Eduard ran away, after a lot of convincing from Toris. He'd rather be stuck here alone. 

“Ivan.” He whispers, looking down at him. He shakily pulls the Russian’s head into his lap. “Ivan.” Toris leans down and kisses his forehead. “Please wake up.” He mumbles. 

Ivan slowly started to become conscious again. He curled up in Toris’ lap and started to cry softly. He was in pain both mental and physical and he thought he was alone. He hadn't noticed that his pillow was actually Toris. 

Toris blushes softly and gasps in shock when he starts to cry. He strokes Ivan’s hair softly. “Please wake up.” He whispers, pulling at Ivan. “Ivan please. Wake up.” 

Ivan froze when he heard the voice. He buried his face deeper but slowly opened his eyes. “t-toris?” he asked softly.

“Yes?” The Lithuanian man asks. “I'm here for you.” He whispers and strokes his hair gently. “You shouldn't drink and shower, you scared me. I thought you weren't going to wake up.” 

Ivan paused and pushed himself up and away from Toris, hiding his face. “g-go...away” he whispered softly. “y-you cant see me like this” he hissed softly. 

Toris hugs him tightly. “People who love each other… They see each other in their worst moments and love them despite it. I don't care that you have water leaking down your face. I just want to be with you and help you feel better.” 

Ivan paused again when he felt Toris hug him. He was reluctant but hugged back gently. “y-you s-said y-you’d n-never l-love me” he said shakily. 

Toris’ back bows slightly at the pressure there, pain shooting through his body. “I was wrong.” He whispers. “You were right. I fall in love with people who hurt me.” He whispers and looks up at him slowly. 

Ivan paused and pulled away slightly, moving his hands away from his back. “H-how?” he asked softly. “how could you go from hating me to loving me so quickly?” he asked, turning away slightly. 

“I didn't hate you… I convinced myself I did so I wouldn't have to face the fact that I fell in love with you.” He whispers. “The person who hurt me.” Toris looks down sadly. 

Ivan paused. He sighed softly and gently lifted Toris’ head up. “i'm sorry” he said softly. “I don't want to hurt you. I won't hurt you anymore. Never again” he said softly. “i really do love you” he whisperd. 

Toris looks up at him. He nods slowly and hugs him gently. He hides his face in Ivan’s shoulder gently and sighs softly. He hugs him tighter. 

Ivan didn't hug back this time, not wanting to hurt him. He kissed him softly. He nuzzled into him slightly.

Toris relaxes slightly. He lays down on the bed and closes his eyes, utterly exhausted. His body is wracked with pain. 

Ivan laid with him, almost afraid to touch him. He didn't want him to get hurt. He didn't want to accidently hurt him. He kept his arms away and his eyes down.

Toris curls into Ivan and goes to sleep, warm for the first time in a long time. He grips the front of Ivan’s jacket in his sleep. 

Ivan didn't mind. He eventually fell asleep as well, nuzzling into the body next to him. He curled up slightly. 

Toris sleeps heavily for a while. His body is screaming in pain when he wakes up, having been used to sleeping in hard beds. He looks up at Ivan and nuzzles into him. 

Ivan woke up around the same time he usually did and looked at Toris, blushing deeply. He had almost thought it was a dream.

Toris sits up and sighs. He stands up and starts to work around the room, not wanting to get in trouble. He winces in pain and heads downstairs to make breakfast. He grits his teeth and whimpers. 

Ivan sat up and went down the stairs. He gently grabbed Toris’ hand. “let the others cook. Please. Stay with me” he whispered softly. “I-I...you should rest too.” 

Toris looks up at him then looks down, shaking his head. “I wanted it to just be you and me, and I made the other two leave.” He whispers shakily. He is sure he's going to get hurt for that one. “I need to make you breakfast, meilė.” 

Ivan paused for a moment. He growled softly but shook his head. “fine. Sit down. I will make it” he demanded, pulling Toris away. He clenched his fists slightly. 

Toris flinches and whimpers softly when he's pulled at. The Lithuanian sits down and looks down at the table. “Я сожалею.” He whispers and starts to stand up to clean. 

Ivan paused and sighed. “sit” he hissed. “stay sitting” he clenched his fists as he worked on cooking. “dont apologize. Just sit. You're hurt.” 

“Я сожалею.” He repeats weakly and sits back down. Toris is terrified of his master. “Я тебя люблю.” The Lithuanian hopes speaking Russian will endear him more. 

Ivan sighed gently and set food in front of him. “i love you” he said gently. He kissed his forehead gently. “eat” he whispered. 

Toris blushes darkly and starts to eat, trembling violently. He feels like he's going to vomit. But he eats in fear of being punished. The Lithuanian sighs softly and starts to calm down a bit when he realizes that he isn't going to be injured. 

Ivan ate slowly, watching him and sighing. “I am upset about losing two subordinates. But I am not going to punish you. I told you that I don’t want you getting hurt anymore” he said softly. “I want you to heal.” he whispered. “I want to hold you without hurting you” he said finally. 

Toris looks up at Ivan. He nods a bit and finishes eating. The Lithuanian sighs softly and nods again. He wants to be held without being in pain. 

Ivan finished eating and stood up to clean the dishes, nearly breaking a few things but keeping himself in check. He really was trying. 

“Ivan.” Toris says gently. “Let me. Doing the dishes isn't stressful.” He gently touches Ivan’s arm and moves in front of him to clean them. 

Ivan paused and sighed. He gave in and nodded. “alright. But be careful. If it hurts stop and I’ll do them.” 

Toris nods and gives him a soft smile. He finishes the dishes soon and looks at Ivan. He comes over and gets on his tiptoes to kiss him gently. 

Ivan kissed back gently, grabbing his chin softly. “thank you” he said softly, kissing his nose gently. “i love you” he whispered. 

Toris grabs his shoulders softly to stay on his toes and blushes. He smiles shakily, and hides his face in Ivan’s chest. “I love you too.” He whispers. 

Ivan reached around but stopped. He grabbed his hips gently to hold him without hurting him and rested his head on him. “You should rest” he whispered after a moment. 

Toris sighs gently and shakes his head. “I don't want to rest.” He whispers softly, burying his face in Ivan’s chest again. “I'm fine, sir. If anything, my back is infected and it needs to be cleaned.” 

Ivan sighed. “then let me clean it” he said softly. “please. I don't want you to be in pain anymore” he said shakily. “i want to make it better” 

Toris looks up then back down and nods. He removes his dirty shirt and grips it tightly in two hands, turning so Ivan can look at his back. 

Ivan started to tear up when he saw what he did to Toris. “I-I’m s-so s-sorry” he said shakily. “come into the bathroom” he whispered, gently taking his hand to lead him to the bathroom. 

Toris follows Ivan to the bathroom, looking at the ground. He holds his hand tightly, noticing how small his hand is compared to the Russians. He sighs softly and holds his shirt with his free hand. 

Ivan sat him gently on the edge of the bathtub, slowly running the warm water and grabbing a towel. He looked at Toris’ back again and sighed shakily. 

Toris sits still for him. He grabs his pants tightly and prepares for the pain that is bound to come from his sore back being prodded at. He looks at his lap and squeezes his eyes shut, biting his lip softly. He’s still terrified of Ivan, still terrified to mess up. 

Ivan carefully started to wash his back, trying not to harm him in the process. He knew he was hurting him, he knew there was no way he wasn't but he was trying desperately to be gentle. 

Toris gasps softly in pain when he starts to wash his back but bites his lip to hold it in after that. He grips the shirt in his hands tightly and tries not to let the tears in his eyes fall. 

Ivan stopped every few dabs. He stopped entirely when he had done all the cleaning he could and gently wrapped his back “I-I’m sorry” he whispered again.

Toris shakes his head. “It's okay.” He whispers and tries to calm down. “I'm okay. It just hurt a bit.” He turns and looks up at Ivan with watery eyes. “It's gonna be okay, you promised.” 

Ivan nodded slightly gently placing his hand on his cheek. “You’re going to be okay.” he whispered. “i do promise” he agreed.

Toris closes his eyes tightly and leans into his hand as the first few tears fall. “I love you.” He whispers shakily. 

Ivan gently ran his thumb along his cheek. “I love you too” he whispered. “do you want to lie down?” 

Toris nods a bit and looks up at him with tear filled eyes. He kisses the palm of Ivan’s hand gently and holds onto him softly. He stands up slowly. 

Ivan smiled weakly and helped him. He helped him to the bed. “do you need anything? Do you want me to lay with you?”

Toris nods. “Yeah. I want you to lay with me.” He whispers and holds onto his hand. He looks up at Ivan and smiles shakily, laying in a way that causes the least amount of pain in his back. 

Ivan gently laid next to him running a hand across his hair gently. “If you ever need anything you can tell me” he said gently.

Toris looks at him and nuzzles against his chest. He shakes his head slightly. “I don't need to tell you, I can get what i want for myself.” 

Ivan sighed gently. “but I want you to rest and get better. So I will take care of you” he stated, 

Toris sighs softly and nods. He snuggles against Ivan and smiles a bit. He looks up at Ivan and leans up, kissing him gently on the mouth. 

Ivan kissed back gently, holding his cheek softly and pressing their foreheads together. He can't help but feel like Toris doesn't really want this and he feels awful about it. 

Toris gives a soft, genuine smile at the feeling. His heart is torn between this new Ivan and his old lover, Feliks. Toris snuggles up to him, groaning in pain but then relaxing and going to sleep. 

Ivan gently rubbed his hip. He kissed his nose gently. “Do you need anything? Are you hungry?” he asked. 

Toris is sleeping at that point, completely relaxed. He nuzzles against Ivan and sighs softly, grabbing onto him softly in his sleep, as if to make sure he's still there. 

Ivan sighed gently and smiled. He continued to rub his hip and closed his own eyes, slowly falling asleep as well. He sighed gently. 

Toris wakes up after a while but stays with Ivan. He nuzzles close to him and smiles softly. He reasons with himself that if Ivan won't hurt him, it won't be that bad. 

Ivan was still asleep. He was holding Toris close to him but he was being careful to avoid his back.

Toris looks up at him. He enjoys how soft Ivan’s face looks when he is asleep, more peaceful. He reaches up and gently cups one of his cheeks. 

Ivan leaned into his touch in his sleep, sighing gently and relaxing to his touch. 

Toris smiles. He didn't know he had that effect on Ivan. He leans up carefully and kisses his cheek gently before starting to stand up slowly. He has to use the restroom.

Ivan blushed gently in his sleep and smiled. He curled up when he got up, nuzzling into the bed. 

Toris comes back when he's done and curls up with Ivan again, smiling softly. He goes back to sleep after a few moments of cuddling. 

Ivan smiled in his sleep and curled around him. He woke up at bit later and smiled gently down at him.

Toris is still asleep at this point. He is completely relaxed, a slight smile on his face. He snuggles up to Ivan in his sleep, gripping on him again. He starts to wake up, looking up at him then smiling fully. 

Ivan smiled down at him and kissed his forehead. He held his cheek gently and smiled. 

Toris blushes softly and looks down a bit. “Ivan?” He asks gently. “Can we go into town today?” He nuzzles close. “I miss doing that.” 

Ivan looked down at him. “If you think your back can handle it, I don’t see why not. I have to pick up a few things anyway” He said gently. “You can come with” 

Toris nods. He starts to get up slowly, back aching. He hides a wince. “I'm going to get dressed in clean clothes.” He says and heads to his old room. 

Ivan nodded and sat up as well. He stood up to get dressed properly to go out. He fixed his scarf. 

Toris gets dressed and meets Ivan back out in the hallway. “I don't have any boots anymore.” He says quietly, bowing his head slightly. He's mildly scared. 

Ivan nodded. “you can wear any shoes, I’ll buy you new shoes when we can get there” he said gently. 

Toris looks at him and nods. He slides his feet into a pair of shoes and smiles softly, getting a scarf on because it's snowy outside. The Lithuanian looks up at Ivan. 

Ivan led him out to the car, opening his door for him then closing it once he was in. He got into the driver's seat. “ready?” 

Toris nods and slowly lowers onto the seat. He buckles in and closes his eyes tightly to deal with the pain. He hisses gently and bites his lower lip tightly. 

Ivan sighed gently. “we can pick up pain killers too, if you want” he said gently. 

“I'm okay.” He whispers and shifts weakly. He looks out the window. Toris looks over at Ivan and looks over his body. He looks out the window and bites his lip softly. 

Ivan nodded and drive to the town. “i'll get you anything you need” he said gently. 

Toris nods a bit. He needs clothes and food and boots but he'd only ask for one. He hates having to ask people for things and he doesn't want to be taking advantage of Ivan. 

Ivan parked in the parking lot of a store for new boots. He opened the door for Toris and then led him inside. “what size shoes?” 

Toris gives him his shoe size. He looks at a couple of different boots and points out the ones that are the least expensive. He looks at Ivan and hopes they are okay. 

Ivan looked at them. He paused and picked up a much nicer but much more expensive pair. “these are your size, da? They are much nicer” 

Toris looks at the price and his face turns pale white. He looks at Ivan. “Th-those are ex-expensive.” He whispers. “I-If you want to b-buy those for me…” 

Ivan smiled and nodded. “the price is not important.” he put the boots on the counter and smiled at him. He paid for them and handed them to him. “anything else?” 

Toris blushes bright red. He puts them on and sighs gently at how nice they feel. “I-I don't know… I would like to look at the bookstore while you go shopping?” He asks softly. “Or do what you wanted to do here?” 

Ivan thought. “we could go together? Or I can give you money. I have to pick up my things last” he said gently. “so we can hang out for a while and do things for you” 

Toris blushes harder and nods. He gives a gentle smile and walks to the bookstore, staying next to Ivan. He goes to the nonfiction section to look around. Toris loves to learn. He picks up a book on the civil war in America and reads the description. 

Ivan watched him. He looked at some of the books. He didn't mind that Toris liked to read. As long as he didn't leave he was okay. 

Toris puts it back before going to the fiction section. He picks up a book and starts to read it after a few seconds. He thinks this one sounds really good and grabs the sequel, since there's only two. He turns to Ivan. “May I get these?” 

Ivan smiled at him and looked at the books. “Da of course. Just these two? You were looking at other books. Only these two are interesting?” he asked. “i can buy more” 

Toris blushes. He isn't used to this. He isn't used to getting what he wants and more. He shrugs a bit and looks around a bit more, finding one more book. “I'm done.” He says gently. 

Ivan nodded and bought them for him. “do you want anything else? Or need anything? We could go to lunch before I pick up my things.” 

Toris takes the books gently and looks up at him. “If you're hungry. If not I can wait until we get home.” He says quietly. It's going to take a while before Toris gets used to Ivan loving him. 

Ivan smiled. “come. I take you to a nice restaurant.” he gently held a hand out for him. He took him to a nice restaurant but not something to fancy and got them a table. “eat anything you like” 

Toris takes his hand softly and follows him to the restaurant. He looks at Ivan and blushes before nodding. He goes through the menu and decides on something quickly. 

Ivan picked something and smiled. “You know what you want?” he asked, tilting his head and smiling. 

“Yeah…” He says softly and looks at Ivan. Toris blushes lightly and looks down, playing with his shirt hem. He pulls out one of the books and starts to read it until the waiter comes over.

Ivan smiled softly. He ordered for himself when the waiter came and gave a smile to Toris to let him know he could as well. 

Toris blushes a bit and looks up at Ivan, nodding. He tells the waiter what he wants before burying himself back in his book. He sighs gently. 

Ivan smiled at him and watched him read. “I'm so happy you like to read, really. But could we maybe talk for a little bit?” 

Toris puts a napkin in the book as a bookmark and starts to stammer out profuse apologies. He looks up at Ivan and apologizes again, reaching out shakily to take his hand. 

Ivan paused. “don’t apologize, really, it’s fine. I just wanted to spend time with you.” he said gently, taking his hand. “It’s fine, really” he assured. “I don’t want to hurt you anymore. I am not going to. I’m sorry. This was a bad idea wasn’t it?” He looked down slightly. 

Toris looks at him and squeezes his hand softly. “You have to understand I can't automatically go to not being afraid of you. I need you to be patient, my instinct at this point is to be terrified of you. I'm getting better, I promise.” He whispers gently. 

Ivan looked up at him again. “I...Da I understand. I am sorry. I am pushing too hard” he said softly. “I’ve never had anyone try to love me back and I don't want to ruin it” he whispered. “But I don’t really know what i am doing either.” 

Toris looks up at him and kisses his knuckles. “You won't ruin it.” He whispers gently and holds his hand tightly. “I don't know what I'm doing. Most people don't.” He assures Ivan. “We're gonna be okay, but it will take time.”

Ivan blushed softly and smiled weakly. He looked down slightly and smiled a big wider. “thank you” he whispered softly. “I love you. I can slow down. I’m sorry” 

Toris nods and smiles softly at him. “I love you too Ivan. We can take this slow.” He says and leans across the table to kiss him gently. He sits back and looks at him. “What do you want to talk about?” 

Ivan smiled softly and blushed softly, kissing back gently. “Anything is fine. Is there anything you want to do while we are out?” 

“No. I just think the countryside and town are beautiful.” He says gently. “Maybe walk around a little bit?” Toris smiles gently and looks over Ivan’s face to gauge if he's angry or not before forcing himself to stop. He smiles softly. 

Ivan nodded and smiled. “that sounds wonderful, I love it” he agreed. “we can walk around then pick up my things and head home?” 

Toris nods and smiles happily. “That sounds amazing.” He says gently and looks up when the waiter brings their food over and sets it down in front of them. Toris lets go of Ivan to pick up his fork and start to eat. 

Ivan thanked him and started to eat as well, smiling softly at Toris. He looked down at his food and smiled softly. 

Toris blushes softly and continues to eat. He thinks the food is very good. The Lithuanian picks up his book and reads while he eats, hoping Ivan won't mind. 

Ivan didn't mind. He ate his food and watched him, smiling. He finished his food and sipped his drink. 

Toris is a bit slower at eating because he's also reading. He looks at Ivan and smiles softly, finishing his food and closing his book. He loves to read. 

Ivan smiled at him. “are you finished? Do you want dessert?” he asked gently, looking around for their waiter. 

Toris looks at Ivan. He nods. “I'm finished. I couldn't eat more if I tried.” He smiles at him. He's still got about half a plate of food. Toris is pretty skinny from how much time he spent in the basement, but he's happy. 

Ivan nodded and called the waiter over to him. He paid for their meal and stood up, gently held his hand out to him to help him stand. 

Toris tucks his book back into the bag and gently takes Ivan’s hand. He stands up and continues to hold his hand even after he's standing. 

Ivan led him outside and smiled. “where do you want to go? Lead the way?” he smiled and looked at him expectantly. 

Toris leads him out toward the countryside with a smile. He goes to a small hill and sits down in the soft grass. The Lithuanian lays down and looks over at the Russian, smiling softly and patting the spot next to him. 

Ivan laid with him and smiled. He looked up at the sky. “it's is wonderful outside” he said happily. “cold but nice”

Toris nods and curls up to him. He looks up at the sky. “It's cold in your country.” He murmurs. “But I like it here.” He looks over at Ivan and kisses his cheek. 

Ivan nodded gently. “It is nice when we have big jacket” he agreed, blushing gently and smiling softly. 

Toris stays snuggled into Ivan, closing his eyes. He looks up at the sky again after a few moments and just watches the puffy clouds sliding past. 

Ivan held him gently close to him and looked at the sky. He loved being here with Toris. He was happy to be able to be gentle with him. 

Toris is content to lay there for several minutes. When he starts to get cold he stands up and grabs the bag with the books. “I'm ready to go.” He smiles sweetly. 

Ivan nodded and smiled. “then we just need to pick up a few things and we can go” 

Toris nods. He follows Ivan back into town, his small hand on Ivan’s arm so he can keep step with him. He can't walk quite as fast. 

Ivan slowed down when he noticed Toris having trouble. He stopped at two small shops and picked up boxes then led him to the car. 

Toris is glad that Ivan slowed down. He gets in the car when they go there and starts to read again, not wanting to be annoying to Ivan and talk too much or something. 

Ivan smiled and drove them home. He stretched as he climbed out, carrying the boxes inside and waiting for Toris. 

Toris slowly gets out after him. He slips on the way up and falls on his side, letting out a loud scream when he did. He slowly pushes himself up then stands up, holding his books close to him. 

Ivan turned when he heard the scream and rushed back outside. He helped him up and held his arms carefully. “what happened are you okay? We need doctor?” 

Toris looks up at him. “I'm fine.” He whispers soothingly. “I screamed because I was surprised, not because it hurt.” Toris smiles gently at him, though his side and arm are hurting a bit now. 

Ivan nodded gently. He lifted him up slowly and carried him inside. “Do you want to rest?” he asked. 

Toris holds onto him tightly when he's carried, eyes squeezed shut. He shakes his head and looks up at him when he's put down. “Can I take a bath?” He asks softly. “You can join me if you'd like.” He blushes lightly. 

Ivan nodded and kissed his forehead. “of course. Would you like me to? I won't if you don't want me to.”

Toris blushes darkly. “If you want to. It's up to you, I don't mind.” He goes upstairs and sets the book he's reading on the toilet lid. He runs the warm water and undresses slowly. 

Ivan nodded. He followed him into the bathroom. He slowly started to undress and touched his scarf. He sighed and removed, carefully folding it and gently setting it on the counter. He left his boxers on until Toris was ready with the water. 

Toris stops the water. He puts a couple towels beside the bathtub then gestures for Ivan to get in. He finishes undressing himself and waits calmly, shivering slightly at the cold in the room. 

Ivan removed his boxers and climbed in. When Toris was in as well he held him gently in his arms. “are you comfortable?” 

Toris nods and looks up at him. “Of course.” The Lithuanian got a bit pale when he saw how big Ivan was, but doesn't say anything. He nuzzles against Ivan gently before drying his hands and picking up his book and reading it carefully. 

Ivan held him gently and watched him read. “it must be a good book. What is it about?” he asked gently, curious. If the Lithuanian couldn't put it down it must be worth reading. 

Toris looks up at him. “It's a futuristic novel, supposed to be taking place a hundred years in the future. It's about a man and a women who are best friends but they're also crime fighters. They're against these metal creations taking over the world.” He explains. He tips his head. “I'm not good at summarizing books, I'm sorry.” Toris smiles and kisses his cheek. 

Ivan listened closely, genuinely interested. “It sounds very wonderful. I’d like to read it when you are done, if that’s alright?” he asked, blushing when he felt him kiss his cheek. He leaned into it slightly. 

Toris nods. “Of course. I love to discuss books, so when you finish maybe we can talk about it?” He asks gently and smiles. He goes back to reading, leaning into him fully. Toris ignores the slight pain in his back from it, wanting to feel Ivan’s skin against his own. 

Ivan nodded and held him gently. “I would love that” he whispered, gently putting his head on Toris’. 

Toris blushes softly. He smiles and sets the book aside to just relax in the bath. He curls happily against Ivan. “I like this a lot.” He whispers gently. 

Ivan nodded. He held him gently. “Da. I do too” He agreed. “I like any time I can spend alone with you” he added, kissing his cheek gently. 

Toris blushes and looks up at him. He blushes darker and looks away fairly quickly. He didn't appreciate a lot of the alone time they got prior to now. He hated it, actually. So he doesn't say anything. 

Ivan smiled down at him and held him close. When the water started to get cold he looked at Toris. “do you want to get out? Or refill the tub?” he asked. 

“I don't want to get out but I probably should, since my fingers are wrinkled.” Toris stands up carefully and grabs a towel. He wraps it around himself before carefully stepping out of the tub. 

Ivan nodded and stood. He got a towel and smiled, drying himself then going into the room. He got into boxers and a tank top then put his scarf back on. He smiled and waited for Toris, though listened to make sure he wasn't hurt. 

Toris head off to his own room. He gets dressed before looking around his room. He looks sadly at the empty beds before looking down. He grabs his book and takes it to Ivan’s room. He smiles gently at him. 

Ivan smiled when Toris came into his room. He sat on the bed and held out his arms for Toris. “we can relax until we are tired. No more work today” he said gently.

Toris nods and hugs him softly. He closes his eyes tightly and nuzzles against his shoulder. He wishes Ivan would always be this nice but he doubts it'll last much longer. 

Ivan kissed his forehead and smiled. He did want to be nice. He was really trying but his temper was hard to control. 

Toris blushes lightly. He moves to be sitting on the bed instead of standing. He looks up at the Russian and leans up to press their lips together. 

Ivan pulled him into his arms and kissed him back gently, holding his cheek and leaning into him. He didn't do anything more with the kiss not wanting to seem forceful. 

Toris blushes and pulls away but leans their foreheads together. He sighs gently. “You're so handsome.” He whispers, looking over his face. 

Ivan smiled gently and held his cheek gently. “You are seeing your reflection, da? In my eyes.” he smiled. “because you are more handsome” 

Toris blushes darkly and shakes his head, looking down shyly. He buries his face against Ivan, sighing softly. He isn't used to the compliments. He doesn't see how he could be remotely handsome anymore. 

Ivan chuckled gently and held him close, kissing his head. He nuzzled into him softly and just held him without a word. He loved to hold him like this. 

Toris doesn't say anything either. He's content to lay in the warmth of Ivan’s arms. He goes to sleep, tired out from all the walking but still happy. 

Ivan shifted to be more comfortable and started to fall asleep as well, holding Toris gently. 

Toris wakes up. He picks up his book and starts to read in the middle of the night with a small book light. He doesn't want to wake up Ivan and upset him. 

Ivan stayed asleep through the night. He woke up in the morning and stretched, looking towards Toris. 

Toris had fallen back to sleep with the book in his hands. He has the lamp on the book still. It had died since he was up most of the night reading and didn't turn off the lamp when he passed out. His hair is around his head and in his face since he likes to keep it semi long. 

Ivan kissed his forehead and got up to go make him breakfast, smiling at him then heading down. He made something simple for them. 

Toris shifts and buries his face in the pillow when Ivan leaves. He snuggles into the blankets to keep the warmth before waking up a few minutes later. He looks around and sighs. 

Ivan made breakfast then went up to him. He smiled. “i made breakfast, sunflower. Would you like to eat it up here?” he asked. 

Toris blushes and shakes his head before slowly getting up. “I don’t want to get food in your bed.” He whispers and smiles at him before heading downstairs. 

Ivan nodded. He lifted him up and carried him down the stairs, setting him gently in a chair and kissing his forehead. He set a plate of food in front of him. 

Toris blushes when he’s carried downstairs. He blushes darker when he's kissed before eating the food. “It's really good.” He says and smiles at Ivan. 

Ivan nodded and sat down to eat as well. “i'm glad you like it. I have to go to work today. But you can rest. You don't have to worry about anything.”

Toris blushes and looks at him. “Okay.” He says softly and finishes eating happily. He stands up and does the dishes for Ivan, since it's not stressful. “I guess I'll finish my book.” 

Ivan nodded. He kissed his cheek gently and stood. He smiled. “i”ll be back” he explained, going towards the front door. He headed to work.

Toris smiles softly. He sighs and shakes his head, going back upstairs. He curls up in bed and finishes the book before starting on the other. He smiles softly and gets through half of it before taking a nap. 

Ivan came home after work, slamming the door behind him. He went into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of vodka, chugging it and screaming for Toris to come downstairs. 

Toris comes downstairs quickly, tears welling into his eyes quickly. He looks down. “Yes, sir?” He asks softly, not making eye contact. “What would you like for dinner?” 

Ivan growled at him softly. “just make something. I don't care” he snapped. He knew he was drunk and he knew he scared Toris but he really didn't want to hurt him. 

Toris does as he’s told, ignoring the pain blossoming in his back from the work. He sets the plate in front of Ivan along with a knife and fork before stepping back and standing how he is supposed to. “Can I get anything else for you, sir?” 

Ivan started to eat sloppily and growled. “when I’m done clean this up. I'm going to take a shower and going to bed” he snapped, finishing with his food and throwing the empty vodka bottle at the wall. “clean that too” he snapped 

Toris nods shakily. “Yes, sir.” He whispers and starts to clean up what he was told to. He drops the remains of the vodka bottle on accident and quickly cleans it up again, hoping he won't get punished for it. 

Ivan didn't even notice. He went upstairs to clean himself then laid down. He passed out rather quickly. 

Toris sleeps in his old bed, staring at the two empty ones until he goes to sleep completely. He holds a pillow tightly in his sleep, terrified to screw up again. 

Ivan groaned in pain when he woke up in the morning, burying his face in his pillow. He had an immense headache

Toris stays to himself. He cleans up the kitchen and living room, wincing and trying not to cry from the pain in his back. He makes breakfast and takes it up to Ivan. 

“Good morning, sir. I made you breakfast.” He says gently and sets it on the side table. Toris cleans up around his room before leaving the room. 

Ivan raised an eyebrow. He sat up and rubbed his temples. “Toris! Come back” he mumbled. He looked at the food and started to eat it. 

Toris stands a little straighter when Ivan calls him back. He pauses for a few moments before heading back into Ivan’s room. He bows slightly. 

“Is there a problem with your food, sir?” He asks gently, not looking at him. He's shaking slightly, scared because of what Ivan was doing the day before. 

Ivan shook his head. “what are you doing?” he paused for a moment, starting to put things together. “Bozhe moj. I did it again” he muttered. “Toris I want you to leave” he said quickly “and don't come back” 

“You didn't hurt me. You just scared me a little bit.” Toris pauses. “I don't want to leave.” He looks up at Ivan pleadingly. “Don't make me leave. I have nowhere to go.” He whispers and starts to feel a bit panicked. Despite it all, he doesn't want to leave Ivan. 

Ivan paused and looked at Toris then looked down slightly. “Toris. I will end up hurting you and that isn't good for you or me. Toris. It isn’t safe for you to be here and I’ll do whatever I have to so that you are safe. I’ll buy you a house and a car and get you a job. But you shouldn't stay here”

Toris looks down. He shakes his head slightly before just heading down to the room he used to share with the other two. Toris curls up in his bed and closes his eyes tightly. He's torn between leaving him and staying since his heart wants him to stay but his brain wants him to leave. 

Ivan watched him leave and looked down. He laid down and rubbed circles around his temples. He loved Toris. He truly did. But he didn't want to hurt him. A few small tears pricked up in Ivan’s eyes

Toris curls up tightly. He closes his eyes tightly and sniffles softly. He doesn't want to leave Ivan all by himself. The Lithuanian decides that he's not going to leave the Russian. He doesn't care if he gets hurt anymore. 

Ivan let himself cry, not sure where Toris went but not expecting him to come back. He curled up and trembled. He hated feeling weak like this. But he wouldn't stop loving him. 

Toris returns around lunch with a meal. He sets it beside Ivan and starts to straighten up the room, standing however is most comfortable with his wounds. He looks at Ivan then hugs him softly. “I love you.” He whispers. 

Ivan jumped when he heard Toris entered. He sat up and kept his face away from Toris, biting his lip slightly. He wiped his face quickly before looking up at him. He was surprised when he was hugged. He hugged back shakily “I love you too” 

Toris looks up at him. “It's okay. I'm not leaving.” He says softly and wipes away his tears gently. “You should eat.” He smiles sweetly and gently smooths down the blond locks of Ivan’s hair. 

Ivan nodded slightly. “I’m so sorry” he whispered. He sat up slightly to try to eat. He didn't feel hungry but he knew he still needed to eat. 

Toris shakes his head. “I'm going to go clean up.” He says gently and heads toward the door. He goes downstairs and cleans up the kitchen thoroughly, sighing gently. 

Ivan nodded slightly and sighed. He laid back down when he was done eating, not wanting to get up today. He felt a huge headache and he felt terrible. 

Toris brings him a glass of water. “Here. I don't think you have any pain killers.” He says gently and sits on the bed beside Ivan. He puts his hand over Ivan’s. 

Ivan nodded and thanked him. He drank the water then pulled Toris close, kissing him gently on the cheek

Toris blushes darkly and leans against him. “Are you okay other than your head hurting?” He asks gently and looks up at Ivan. 

Ivan nodded slightly. “I think so. I’m sorry” he whispered and hugged him gently. He nuzzled into him. 

Toris hugs back after a moment and shakes his head. “It's okay.” He responds gently and rubs his back softly. “I understand.” He whispers. 

Ivan nuzzled into his neck. “I love you so much” He whispered softly, looking up at Toris and smiling weakly. 

Toris looks down at him and sighs. He hugs him close and presses a kiss to his head. “I love you too.” He whispers and smiles back shakily. 

Ivan held him gently, trying not to touch his wounds at all. He pet his hair gently as well. 

Toris blushes softly. “I need to keep cleaning up.” He whispers and tries to stand up, mildly wanting to clean to distract himself. He’s still scared. 

Ivan nodded slightly and sighed softly. “You don’t have to. But if you want” He said softly. 

Toris nods. “I do. I'm almost done. Why don't you just relax.” He whispers and kisses his forehead. “Sleep.” He smiles gently. 

Ivan nodded slightly. “will you come lay with me when you are done?” 

“Of course.” Toris ruffles his hair gently. “Of course. I would love to.” He walks away to start working so he can come back and lay with him. 

Ivan nodded again. He laid down and started to fade into sleep, curling up slightly. 

Toris cleans for a few hours before changing into clean clothes and curling up with Ivan. He lays in the only way that doesn't hurt his brutalized back. It's slowly healing, but it would be faster had it not happened so often. 

Ivan held him gently when he felt him. He curled around him but was still careful not to hurt him. 

Toris blushes darkly and looks up at him. He nuzzles into the Russian gently, hoping everything will be okay. He sighs gently. 

Ivan woke up in the morning and looked down at Toris. He smiled weakly and kissed his forehead. 

Toris wakes up with a dark blush. He nuzzles close and smiles a bit. “Did we sleep through the rest of the day, and the night?” He asks sleepily, grabbing his hand gently. 

Ivan looked at the window and nodded. “I believe so” he whispered. He held onto him still gently. 

Toris giggles softly and nods a bit. He kisses Ivan’s cheek softly and nuzzles close to him. “I'll go make breakfast.” He says gently. 

Ivan blushed and nodded. He thanked him and smiled softly. “Okay, sunflower. Thank you” he whispered. He let go of him and stood up, stretching a bit. 

Toris blushes and smiles, heading downstairs. He starts to make Ivan’s favourite, hoping that will set his mood for the day. He sets the table and puts the food down. 

Ivan went into the bathroom then went downstairs. He smiled at Toris and hugged him gently when he saw what he made. 

Toris smiles softly and hugs Ivan softly. “Your favourite? Right?” He asks gently and looks at Ivan. He kisses Ivan’s cheek softly and sits down to eat some. 

Ivan nodded and kissed Toris gently. “Da, thank you very much” he smiled brightly and sat down to eat as well. 

Toris blushes darkly. “No problem.” He whispers and eats some. He's not particularly hungry. The Lithuanian stretches out carefully and cleans the dishes. 

Ivan sat down and ate some as well, smiling as he ate. He was very glad that Toris made what he liked.

Toris cleans the kitchen up carefully before heading upstairs to take a quick shower. He cleans himself gently, looking at the floor. He doesn't want to see his body. 

Ivan washed his dish when he was done with it. He grabbed a book and went out to the living room to read.

Toris gets dressed. He comes downstairs. “I thought you had work today?” He asks politely and looks at Ivan for a moment before sitting next to him. 

Ivan nodded. “I do but not till a bit later. I am going to quit and get a new job” He added, not even looking up. “Work is making me hurt you. I won’t do that anymore.”

Toris blushes softly. “I thought you liked your job? I don't mind either way.” He shrugs a bit and snuggles into him softly. “I don't want you to be miserable.” 

Ivan shrugged. “i don't like being pissed off” he stayed simply. He kissed Toris gently. “I’ll get a good job to take care of you” 

Toris kissed back softly, cupping his cheek. “I love you.” He whispers and smiles, snuggling close happily. 

Ivan kissed his cheeks then his nose. “i love you too, sunflower”


End file.
